October 3, 2020•218 words
Recently I've been thinking a lot about being present, and how difficult I've found it to be present in the past, I tried so hard and could never crack it. My mind always going in any direction it wanted. Since my son arrived, I figured this quest would be impossible, I have no time to put the effort in. I'm present for my son where I can be but any free time, my mind is going everywhere.
Lately however, I'm noticing that something has started to shift in my mind. With work, chores, goals and my son I have very little time, but now when thoughts appear, there's a sort of effortless sluggishness that appears. When the thought appears my mind is beginning to lazily response with, "Nah, I can't be bothered" and it passes. I listen to Pzizz often at night to get to sleep, there's a sentence that the audio suggests to get to sleep which goes something like "Thoughts will arrive but you're not obligated to think them". Which sums it up perfectly.
I think I'm going to try cultivate this more, but it's made me realise that, effort isn't everything. There are aspects of life that just require patience. So if things don't stick right now, that's fine, maybe all you need is time.